IF
When King Philip of Macedonia invaded Greece in 338 B.C., he defeated an Athenian/Theban army at the Battle of Chaeronea. Resistance ceased as all the other Greek city-states submitted to Philip’s victorious army. All except Sparta. When Philip arrived outside Sparta, he halted his army and awaited the Spartan emissaries bringing “earth and water” symbolizing Sparta’s submission to Macedonian rule. No one came. Angered, Philip sent a messenger into the city with a threatening note: “If I capture your city, I will destroy it and kill your people.” The Spartan response arrived soon after. It was a one word answer: “If”. The warrior-king Philip was so impressed with the bravado of the Spartans that he bypassed the city.
– The Greatest War Stories Never Told p. xi
ANAXIMENES
Anaximenes was a philosopher famous during his lifetime. He accompanied Alexander the Great in his conquest of Persia. One day, Alexander’s army approached the city where Aniximenes was born. Aniximenes came to Alexander’s tent and Alexander, anticipating what he was about to request, said to Anaximenes: “I swear by the River Styx, I will not grant your request.” Aniximenes coolly responded: “My lord, I want you to destroy my city.” A man of his word, Alexander left the city untouched.
– maroon 27
AFRAID OF HIS SHADOW
The teenage Alexander once accompanied his father Philip on a horse-buying expedition. There was one magnificent stallion that Philip was interested in, but none of his expert horsemen could stay on the horse. Each was bucked off as soon as he got in the saddle. Alexander was watching all this keenly. His father was forced to tell the horse trader that even though the horse was the best he had ever seen, it was too wild to be ridden. At this point, Alexander interrupted the conversation and told his father he could ride the horse. Everyone, including Philip, broke into laughter. Alexander did not back down and insisted that he be allowed to try. His father, probably thinking his son could use a good knock on the head, agreed to let him try. Alexander, seeing an opening, demanded his father gift him the horse if he was able to ride it. Philip said sure, with a smile on his face. Alexander approached the fearsome animal and grasping the reins, turned the horse’s head toward the sun and then mounted him with no trouble. Alexander proceeded to ride off into the sunlight and returned with a tamed horse. His secret was that he had noticed that the horse was not so much wild as he was scared of his enlarged shadow when a man got on his back. By pointing the horse toward the sun, he was able to keep the horse calm by having the shadow fall behind the horse. True to his word, Philip bought the horse for his son and supposedly proclaimed: “Seek another kingdom that may be worthy of your abilities, for Macedonia is too small for you.” Alexander named his horse Bucephalus which means “ox-head” because he had a white mark on his head that looked like an ox-head. He rode the horse in all of his great battles.
– maroon 34
THE GORDION KNOT
Once upon a time, there was a small kingdom in Asia Minor called Gordium. It was ruled by a wise king, but when he died he had no son to replace him. The people were without a leader so they went to the chief priest for his advice. The priest promised to consult the gods. He performed some sacrifices and then waited for a response. The next day, a farmer entered the capital with a cart full of produce for market. As he passed in front of the temple, an eagle landed on his cart. The priest noticed this strange phenomenon and immediately realized this must be the sign from the gods. He ran to the farmer and asked him if he would like to be the new king. The farmer did not have to think twice. To commemorate this great day in his life, the new king had his cart tied to a post in the middle of the city with a really intricate knot. Somehow, a legend grew that whoever could loosen the knot was destined to rule the world. A young Alexander had heard the tale and after his first victory over the Persians, he and his entourage made a special trip to Gordium to see the knot. When they were shown to the spot where the cart was still tied to the post, they were shocked at how complicated the knot was. Alexander examined the knot carefully, but he could not see where either end was, much less determine how to untie it. He turned to the current chief priest and asked if there were any rules on how you had to unloosen it. When the priest said there were no rules, Alexander dramatically unsheathed his sword and cut through the knot, thus fulfilling the prophecy. Because of this incident, the phrase “cutting the Gordian knot” came to mean solving a complex problem with a simple solution.
– maroon 35
WHY TAKE HALF…
After Alexander had defeated the Persians in the Battles of Granicus and Issus, he went on to conquer Egypt. Everyone knew the job of conquering the whole Persian Empire was not finished, but Alexander had half and Darius still had a huge army. Darius sent a message to Alexander offering him half of the empire, a large sum of money, and his daughter’s hand in marriage if he would agree to end the war. Alexander gathered his generals and read them the message and then asked their advice. Alexander’s second in command, the veteran Parmenion said: “If I were Alexander, I would accept this deal.” Alexander: “I would too – if I was Parmenion.” Alexander then pointed out that he already had half the empire (and Darius’ daughter) and he was not willing to settle for half. He went on to win the Battle of Gaugamela (Arbela) and got the whole empire. Plus the daughter.
– maroon 35
LIKE A KING
Alexander’s last great battle was in India at the River Hydaspes. He faced his most worthy opponent in this battle. King Porus fought from elephant-back and very nearly defeated Alexander. Porus was wounded by a spear in the battle and his elephant supposedly pulled the spear out. After the battle, Alexander found Porus recuperating under a tree. Alexander approached and asked Porus how he expected to be treated. Porus: “Like a king.” Alexander liked the response and allowed Porus to stay on his throne as a puppet ruler.
-maroon 35
THE CANTEEN OF WATER
On his return from India, Alexander and his army had to traverse the very dry Gedrosian Desert. At one point, the army was down to its last canteen of water. It was brought to Alexander. He asked if there was enough for everyone and when he was told no, he poured the contents onto the ground. This anecdote is told to show how Alexander cared for the welfare of his men and was one of them. What most people don’t know is Alexander was responsible for their predicament. When his men had mutinied and refused to go further east, Alexander relented but decided to pay them back by taking the most difficult route home – the Gedrosian Desert. A large number of his men died along the way.
– maroon 35
A SPARTAN HONEYMOON
The Spartans were not exactly romantic. When a Spartan male decided it was time to get married and start a family, he would abduct his intended bride from her home. The girl would be turned over to an older woman called a nymphentria who would prepare her for the wedding night. The bride’s hair was cut short and she was dressed like a man. She was left alone in a room to wait. The groom ate his usual meal with his mates in the barracks and then after lights out, he would sneak out and go to his bride. After spending a brief time with her, he would sneak back into the barracks to go to sleep. From then on, he would sneak out periodically to visit his wife.
– Daily Life in Greece at the Time of Pericles by Robert Flaceliere p. 63
AN ANCIENT GREEK DRINKING SONG
Let’s start our drinking now – no timed
To wait while they light the lamps.
There’s a finger of daylight left,
So lift down the goblets, slave!
Lord Dionysus gave us wine
To ease our cares away
Mix two parts water, one part wine,
And let’s drink till morning comes!
– maroon 67
ALEXANDER’S PARADE
During his Illyrian campaign, Alexander faced a tough mountain people called the Taulantians. They held the high ground and would be very difficult to dislodge. Alexander had to figure out a way to draw them out into the open where his army’s superior discipline would be an advantage. He decided to parade his infantry and cavalry in the valley. The primitive Taulantians had never seen such a spectacle. They came down from the hills to get a closer look. At the right moment, Alexander ordered a charge and the spectators were routed.
– maroon 110
THE SHADOW OF THE ASS
Demosthenes was once giving a speech before the Athenian assembly, but his opposition was booing and hissing to drown him out. He suddenly stopped and when the crowd quieted down, he asked them if they wanted to hear a story. Once upon a time, there was a man who needed to rent a donkey to go to another town. The donkey’s owner insisted on going along for the ride. Halfway there, it had gotten so hot that they decided to take a break. The man and the donkey owner both wanted to lay down in the shadow of the donkey, but there was not enough room for both. The owner argued the shadow was his because the donkey was his. The man argued the donkey’s shadow came with the rental of the donkey. At this point, Demosthenes walked away from the podium. The crowd became upset and demanded he finish the story. Demosthenes responded: “So you care more about the shadow of an ass than you do about important business?” The crowd listened quietly to the rest of Demosthenes’ speech.
– Fuller 140-141
BARBER JOKES
These jokes were told in ancient Greece.
King Archelaus went to the barber. When the barber asked how he wanted his hair cut, he responded: “In silence.” Another time Archelaus went to the barber and before he sat in the chair, he gave the barber a coin. The barber thanked him and commented on how unusual it was to get a tip before the cutting. Archelaus: “It’s not a tip, it’s hush money.”
– Fuller 146
SOCRATES ON MARRIAGE
Socrates was famously hen-pecked. Here are two of his statements about marriage:
When he was asked whether a man should get married or remain single. Socrates: “Let him take which course he may, he will repent it.”
“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will be so happy; if you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher, and that is good for all men.”
– Fuller 156, 158
DIOGENES
Diogenes was a cynical philosopher who could be pretty provocative. Once he was invited to the home of a friend. When they approached the door, he asked the man what the inscription above the doorway meant. The friend told him it meant: “Let nothing enter here except what is good.” Diogenes turned to his friend and asked him: “How do you get in?”
– Fuller 176-177
SENILE SPOHOCLES
When Sophocles got old, his kids sued him because they felt he was incapable of taking care of his own finances. In the trial, Sophocles read from his latest play, “Oedipus at Colunnus”, and he was immediately acquitted by the jury.
– Fuller 215
THE HANGING GARDENS OF BABYLON
The Hanging Gardens were built by Nebuchadnezzar II for his wife Amytis. She missed the hills of her youth. It used a water pipe system to pump water to a height of 60 feet. The water came from the Euphrates River. There were terraces planted with a variety of plants and flowers. Apparently, the Babylonians invented the flower garden. Stairways led to the terraces. The Hanging Gardens is the “wonder” that is the most problematical. There are no mentions of them in Babylonian records. Some experts think they were actually located in the Assyrian capital of Nineveh.
– Amazing 206 / Hanging Gardens of Babylon by Mark Cartwright (https://www.ancient.eu/Hanging_Gardens_of_Babylon/)
THE TEMPLE OF ARTEMIS AT EPHESUS
The temple was built around 550 B.C. in what is today Turkey. It was dedicated to the goddess of hunting and nature. The Romans called her Diana. It was about twice the size of the Parthenon at 377 feet by 180 feet. It had a tile-covered roof held up by an estimated 106 columns from 40-60 feet high. The columns were decorated with scenes from Greek mythology. Above the columns was an architrave that had blocks that may have weighed up to 24 tons each. The temple acted as a depository for priceless art and as a treasury. It was destroyed by one of the most famous arsonists in history. Herostratus burned it down for the fame in 356 B.C. It was rebuilt by the Ephesians and then destroyed by the Goths in 262 A.D. Rebuilt again, it was destroyed by a Christian mob in 401.
– Amazing 207 / Temple of Artemis at Ephsesus by Mark Cartwright (https://www.ancient.eu/Temple_of_Artemis_at_Ephesus/)
THE STATUE OF ZEUS AT OLYMPIA
When the sculptor Phidias was exiled from Athens for suspicion of embezzlement in the sculpting of his statue of Athena in the Parthenon, he ended up in Olympia where he was commissioned to do the statue. It was 40 feet high even though seated on a throne. The statue had a wood core covered by ivory for the flesh and gold for the garments. Phidias also used silver, copper, glass, ebony, enamel, paint, and jewels for details. Zeus holds a goddess of victory in one hand and a staff with an eagle atop in the other. The platform had “Phidias, son of Charmides, made me” on it. In front of the statue was a pool of olive oil. It provided moisture to keep the ivory from cracking but also provided a divine reflection. The statue was removed to Constantinople after the Roman Emperor Theodosius banned worship of the old gods. (According to legend, Caligula had earlier proposed bringing it to Rome but Zeus laughed so loud he caused the workers on the scaffolding to fall.) It burned in a fire around 462.
– Amazing 207 / Statue of Zeus at Olympia by Mark Cartwright
THE MAUSOLEUM AT HALICARNASSUS
The temple was built as a tomb for a Persian satrap named Mausolus. It was located in what is today southwestern Turkey. It was completed around 353 B.C. by his wife Artemisia. It was made of white marble and was huge, possibly as tall as 45 stories. It was 125 feet by 104 feet. It had 36 columns and up to 100 statues of heroes and gods. Some of them were almost 10 feet tall. A frieze longer than that of the Parthenon was decorated with scenes from mythology like Greeks fighting Amazons. The frieze was 39 inches tall. On top of the building was a four-horse chariot driven by a statue of Mausolus. The building was severely damaged by an earthquake in the 13th Century. Then in 1494 the Knights of St. John took much of the remaining stone to build a castle.
– Amazing 207-8 / The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus by Mark Cartwright (https://www.ancient.eu/Mausoleum_at_Halicarnassus/)
THE COLOSSUS OF RHODES
This was a 110 foot statue of the god Helios that was located somewhere in the harbor of Rhodes. It was probably on a pedestal near the entrance. It almost surely did not straddle the entrance, as is sometimes depicted. It was made of bronze and took about twelve years to finish, sometime around 280 B.C. Only 56 years later, it was toppled by an earthquake. The pieces were left alone out of respect to Helios. According to legend, the Oracle of Delphi protected Rhodes was guaranteed protection unless it was tampered with. Supposedly tourists would visit it and try to enclose a thumb with their arms. The fingers were bigger than most statues. In 654, Muslims conquered Rhodes and sold the remains to a Jewish merchant to be melted down. He needed 900 camels to transport it.
– Amazing 208 / The Colossus of Rhodes by Mark Cartwright (https://www.ancient.eu/Colossus_of_Rhodes/)
THE LIGHTHOUSE AT PHAROS
The youngest of the wonders is the lighthouse in the harbor of Alexandria, Egypt. It was built around 250 B.C. It stood 380 feet tall which made it only behind the great pyramids as the tallest structure on Earth. It was dedicated to Zeus Soter (the deliverer). It had three levels: rectangular, octagonal, and round. It used bronze mirrors to signal ships up to 35 miles away. Supposedly, there was a fire also for signaling at night. Some historians dispute this as it was not mentioned in early descriptions. It was destroyed by an earthquake in the 1300’s.
– Amazing 208-9 / The Lighthouse of Pharos by Mark Cartwright (https://www.ancient.eu/Lighthouse_of_Alexandria/)
ANAXIMANDER
Anaximander was the first philosophy who wrote down his ideas. Unfortunately, most of his writings have been lost. We do know some of them from Plato and Aristotle. He questioned mythology and substituted natural explanations for phenomena. He is credited with founding astronomy. He created the first gnomen which was a perpendicular sundial. He was also influential in the founding of geography. He drew the first map of the known world. He pictured two land masses – Europe and South Asia. They were separated from each other by the Mediterranean Sea. He envisioned the Earth as a cylinder floating in the center of the Universe.
– Amazing 249-250
HERACLITUS
Heraclitus was a famous Greek philosopher. He lived from 535-475 B.C. He believed that the Universe was constantly changing, hence his quote: “No man ever steps in the same river twice”. He formulated the “unity of opposites” which is the belief that the Universe consists of paired opposites. Heraclitus was a strange dude. He did not like people and spent much of his life wandering the wilderness living off wild plants. He eventually came down with a disease called “dropsy”. It is a painful ailment that involves fluid accumulating under your skin. When doctors could offer no cure, Heraclitus decided to cure himself by covering his body in cow manure. He figured the manure would draw the fluids out. Once he covered himself, he went to lay in the sun so the manure would dry. It did dry, but unfortunately it immobilized him as though he was in a cast. Wild dogs came along and ate him.
https://historycollection.co/20-historical-events-seldom-taught-in-school/3/
THE ANT AND THE SHELL
When King Minos found out that Daedalus had given his daughter the sword and string that Theseus used to kill the Minotaur, he imprisoned Daedalus and his son in a tall tower. All the genius had to do all day long was watch the birds flying around. This gave him the idea of making wings and he and Icarus flew away. As everyone knows, Icarus flew too close to the sun and died, but daddy made it to another island where he lived in secrecy. Minos really wanted Daedalus back in his prison, but how to locate him? Someone suggested that a puzzle to be solved for a reward might intrigue Daedalus and get him to reveal his location. Minos had a guard go to the beach and find the most intricate sea shell. The challenge was to make a necklace out of the shell without doing anything to the shell. Many tried, but no one succeeded. Until Daedalus heard about the contest. He poured honey into the shell until it was dripping out of the tiny hole at the other end. Then he tied a string to the bag leg of an ant and put the ant in the shell. The ant ate the honey from the front to the back hole while pulling the string behind him. When the ant exited the small hole, the shell had been strung and was a necklace. Daedalus sent the necklace to Minos, but because he was not interested in the prize, he kept his location secret. Minos never did get his hands on him.
JUDGMENT DAY FOR CROESUS
The great Athenian lawmaker Solon once went to visit the richest man in the world – King Croesus of Lydia. Croesus lived in a beautiful palace and wanted to show off his wealth to his visitor. After a tour of the palace and several sumptuous meals, Croesus was expecting some flattery from Solon. Since Solon had not said anything about how great a life Croesus lived, Croesus finally just came right out and said: “Solon, who is the happiest person you have ever known?” He was confident that Solon would say him, but Solon named someone he had never heard of. When Croesus asked why he chose that guy, Solon explained that the man had lived a good life and when he passed on, his family was at his side. Croesus had to agree that was a pretty happy life, although he still thought he was the happiest man. When he asked Solon how he could not have chosen him, Solon responded: “I agree that you are very happy, but one cannot be judged until their life has run its course. Who knows what the future holds for you?”
Years later, Croesus’ kingdom was being threatened by the Persian army of Cyrus the Great. Unsure whether to go to war, Croesus consulted the Oracle of Delphi. The seer told him “if you go to war with Persia, you will destroy a great kingdom.” Hearing what he wanted, Croesus sent his army to battle and was badly defeated. Next thing he knew, he was tied to a stake and about to be burned to death by Cyrus. When the torch was about to be put to the wood, he yelled out: “Solon, I’m ready to be judged!” Cyrus was so intrigued by these strange last words, he stopped the execution to ask Croesus what he meant. Croesus told his story about Solon. Cyrus enjoyed the story, but still ordered the fire be lit. Croesus said: “Wait a second, let me ask you one question. What is your army doing right now?” Cyrus: “My army is sacking your capital, raping your women, killing your men, stealing your treasures.” Croesus: “You are wrong. Your army is sacking your capital, raping your women, killing your men, and stealing your treasure. The capital is now yours. You won the war.” It dawned on Cyrus that Croesus was right so he sent orders for his army to stop. Cyrus was so impressed that he spared Croesus’ life and made him an adviser.
XERXES AND THE STORM
After losing the Battle of Salamis, Emperor Xerxes headed back to Persia in a ship. On the way, they ran into a terrible storm that threatened to sink the ship. When Xerxes asked the captain what could be done to save the ship, the captain explained that the ship was too heavy and the load needed to be lightened. Xerxes turned to his men and said “It is on you that my safety depends. Now show your regard for your king.” The men jumped overboard, thus lightening the ship and saving it. When they got back to Persia, Xerxes presented the captain with a golden crown and then he had him beheaded for losing so many men.
– Little, Brown p. 595
THE GRAVE ROBBERS
This is my favorite story by Herodotus from his The Histories. It may not be true, but Herodotus loved a good story and included it in the book. Once upon a time in Ancient Egypt, an elderly man was on his death bed. He called his two sons to his side and said: “Sons, I am not a rich man and I have no wealth to leave you. But I know a secret that you will find valuable. Years ago, I worked on the pharaoh’s tomb and I made sure one of the stones in the wall was not sealed. If you pull out the stone you can go into the tomb and take some of the treasure.” He explained where the stone was and then he died. The brothers were skeptical, but after the funeral they visited the tomb late at night and sure enough the stone was loose and they were able to get into the tomb and steal a bunch of jewelry. For the next few nights, they had a great time out on the town drinking and going to brothels. Meanwhile, the pharaoh’s official who was in charge of preparing his tomb for the afterlife noticed some of the jewelry was missing. He told the pharaoh and they both wondered how this could be since the tomb was well guarded. The pharaoh insisted the robber be caught so the official rigged a trap. A few nights later, the brothers returned to the throne for more loot and the elder brother entered first and was immediately trapped. He whispered to his brother through the hole where the stone had been, telling him that he was trapped and would not be able to get out. When the younger brother asked him what should he do, the elder said: “There is only one thing you can do to protect yourself and our whole family from retribution. You must cut off my head and take it with you. That way the guards will not be able to identify me. I’m a dead man anyway. You must do this.” The younger was very upset with this turn of events, but realized his brother was right. He stuck his sword through the opening, decapitated his brother and took the head with him. The next day, the official inspected the tomb and found the headless body. He rushed to tell the pharaoh they had caught the robber, but the pharaoh realized he must have had an accomplice. That was the only way to explain the missing head. The pharaoh ordered the body to be hung in the city and guarded. Perhaps the other robber would try to get the body to give it a decent burial and he would be caught. But the younger brother disguised himself as a wine trader and offered free samples to the guards. When they fell asleep he took his brothers body and buried it. At this point the pharaohs detectives determined that some of the jewels were being used at a particular brothel. The pharaoh’s daughter volunteered to go undercover to catch the thief. A few nights later the thief came to the brothel and recognized the pharaoh’s daughter on the menu, so to speak. He asked for her and they went to the room where they had a good time. When he offered a ring which she recognized in the dim light of the room, she grabbed his arm and called the guards. They came running in to find the daughter holding a severed arm with the ring in its hand and the thief having escaped in the confusion. When he heard of this, the pharaoh gave up and offered a pardon to the thief. The young man came to the palace to get his pardon and ended up marrying the princess who had fallen in love with him that night.
THE FOX THIEF
This story was a popular one for Spartan parents to tell their sons. Once upon a time, there was a Spartan boy living in the barracks with other boys his age. The boys never seemed to get enough food. This was to toughen them up and they were encouraged to find additional food on their own. One night after the boys had been put to bed, this young man decided to steal some food. He snuck out in the darkness and went to a nearby farm where the farmer raised foxes. The boy got into the fox pen and stole a fox, but the foxes made such a racket that the farmer was awakened and came out to see what was up. He saw a shadowy figure running away in the direction of the barracks. The next day the farmer came to the military camp to report that one of his foxes was missing and it had to be one of the boys. The commander called all the boys to the parade ground. He told them that one of them had stolen a fox from the local farmer and he wanted to know who it was. No boy stepped forward so the commander told them they were going to stay until the thief identified himself. Hours passed and the sun was blazing. The boys were sweating, hungry, and thirsty. Suddenly, one of the boys collapsed. The commander came to him, thinking he had fainted from the heat. Upon examining him he found that under the boy’s cloak was the fox. It had been eating at the boy’s stomach the whole time and he had passed out from loss of blood and this had caused the boy to die. But he hadn’t given himself up. This story was told by parents as a lesson to their sons. You should be like this boy.
THE THIEF AND HIS MOTHER
This is my favorite fable from Aesop. A boy returned home one day with book that he had stolen from a classmate. Instead of scolding and punishing her son, the mother asked him if anyone had seen him take it. When her son said no, she complimented him. She sold the book. Another time he returned with a nice cloak that he had stolen. Again, she only asked if he was unseen. She sold the cloak. Over the years he continued to steal and his mother never punished him. Naturally, he grew up to be a thief. Finally, he was caught and sentenced to death. He was being led to the place of hanging and a crowd had gathered to jeer at him. One person in the crowd was crying, it was his mother. He asked to be allowed to say something to her and his guards said it would be okay. He approached his mother and said he wanted to whisper something to her. Bending over, he proceeded to bite her ear off. The crowd could not believe how low he had sunk, but he hushed them by saying: “If it was not for her, I would not be here today. When I brought home stolen things, she did not punish me.” The moral: spare the rod, raise the thief
THE AMAZONS
The first mention of the Amazons is by Homer in “The Iliad”. He refers to them as the Androktones (“killers of men”). Homer says they were fighting on the side of the Trojans in the Trojan War. The warriors were led by Queen Penthesilea. She was killed by Achilles in a night raid on their camp. Later Greeks began to call them Amazons from the Greek word a-mazos meaning “without a breast”. Supposedly they removed their right breasts to make their archery more efficient. The Greeks believed they were the offspring of Ares and lived in Pontus (today northeastern Turkey). One a year, they would hook up with men from a neighboring kingdom so they could have offspring. If a baby turned out to be a boy, he was either killed or shipped off to his father. Herodotus mentions them in his “History”. He called them Androktones (“killers of men”) and wrote that they were defeated in battle by the Greeks. The survivors were put on a prison ship, but they killed the men and sailed to Scythia where they mated with the men, but maintained their warrior lifestyle. Eventually, they and their menfolk migrated eastward into Russia and founded the Sarmatian culture. They became known as Amazons from the Iranian word ha-mazan meaning “warrior”. Before you brush this all off as a myth, excavations in the area that was Sarmatia has uncovered the burial places of women who were buried with armor and weapons.
– Amazing 381-383
MILO OF CROTON
Milo of Croton was the strongest man in Ancient Greece. He got that way by carrying a newborn calf on his shoulders every day. As the calf grew into a fully grown cow, Milos gradually got stronger. To maintain his strength he consumed 20 pounds of meat, 20 pounds of bread, and 10 liters of wine each day. He was a star at the Panhellenic Games for decades. The legend of his death was an embarrassing for such a he-man. He was strolling through the woods one day when he came upon a tree that had several wedges in it in an attempt to split it. The woodsman being nowhere to be found, Milo accepted the challenge to finish the job with his hands. When he began to push the two parts of the tree apart, this dislodged the wedges causing the tree to spring back and catching his hands in the vice. To add insult to injury, along came a lion who took advantage of the incapacity of the world’s strongest man to have himself a meal.
https://historycollection.co/20-historic-events-even-the-movies-wont-touch/15/
EMPEDOCLES THE GOD?
Empedocles (c. 492-432 B.C.) was one of the great intellects of the Ancient World. He was multi-talented and was a philosopher, doctor, and poet. His greatest achievement was development of the theory of the four elements – earth, wind, fire, and water. A strong believer in democracy, he helped overthrow the oligarchy that was misruling his city on Sicily. As a doctor, he was famous for curing diseases and averting epidemics. He was an egotist who claimed to be able to alleviate old age, destroy evil, and control the climate. After a case where he cured a woman who was deemed uncurable, he began telling people he was a god. When people evidenced skepticism, he gathered a crowd at the volcano Mount Etna. He vowed to descend the volcano and return. He hasn’t yet.
https://historycollection.co/odd-details-about-famous-historical-events-nobody-talks-about/11/
ARISTOTLE’S MISTAKES
Aristotle was one of the greatest geniuses in history. He was also a great scientist. But he was not always right. Here are a few scientific facts that he passed on.
– mice die if they drink in the summer time
– all animals except man get rabies when bitten by a rabid dog
– women have fewer teeth than men (seems like he could have checked on this one)
– the heart, not the brain, is the center of sensations, reason, and intellect
– the function of the brain is to cool the blood
– women are “immature”, “deficient”, “deformed”, and “monstrous”
– several animals spontaneously generate from inanimate matter like mud ex. eels, lice, flies, oysters, clams
– some people were born to be slaves
– the celestial bodies are alive
– heavier objects fall faster
– men’s blood is hotter than women’s
– Earth is the center of the Universe
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/6-things-aristotle-got-wr_b_5920840
https://moco-choco.com/2018/06/13/what-aristotle-got-wrong/
ARTEMESIA
Artemesia was a Greek queen who sided with Emperor Xerxes when he invaded Greece in the Persian Wars. She provided a few ships for his navy and captained one of them herself. Before the Battle of Salamis, she was the only one of Xerxes’ captains to argue against attacking the Greek fleet in the narrow waters between the island of Salamis and the Greek mainland. Xerxes appreciated her input, but he ordered the advance anyhow and it resulted in one of the most decisive battles in the history of Western Civilization as his fleet was trounced, effectively ending the threat to Greek civilization. Herodotus’ most famous tale from the battle involved Artemesia. Her ship was in danger and was being pursued by a Greek trireme. She got out of the predicament by ramming a Persian ship. The Greeks, thinking she must be on their side, backed off and she escaped the battle. Xerxes, who was watching the battle from a hillside, was getting increasingly aggravated by the performance of his fleet. When he saw Artemisia ramming a ship and assumed it was an enemy ship, he famously said “My men fight like women and my women fight like men.”
THE SACRED BAND
One of the most famous military units in the Ancient World was the Sacred Band of Thebes. It was created around 378 B.C. by Gorgidas. He had the genius idea of taking advantage of the homosexual relationships common among Greek soldiers. What if you paired off companions on the battlefield? He created a unit of 150 pairs of lovers. One was an older, veteran soldier and the other was a younger soldier who viewed him as a mentor. Naturally, the two would fight very hard alongside each other. Their training included wresting and dancing, as well as the military arts. The unit played a major role in the Theban victory over Sparta at the Battle of Leuctra in 371 B.C. They helped break Sparta’s power. The legendary unit came to an end at the Battle of Chaeronea in 338 B.C. They were surrounded by the forces of Philip of Macedonia but refused to surrender and were killed to the man.
https://historydaily.org/the-sacred-band-of-thebes-an-army-of-300-gay-lovers
https://military.wikia.org/wiki/Sacred_Band_of_Thebes
– The Greatest War Stories Never Told p. x
THE PARTHENON EXPLOSION
One of the worst days in the history of art occurred on Sept. 26, 1687. On that day, terrible damage was done to the most famous temple on Earth. In the 1680’s, the Ottoman Empire conquered Greece and expanded into Europe. Athens was a crown jewel in the conquest. The Turks converted the Parthenon into a mosque (and the Erechtheum into a harem). An alliance of Poland, Venice, and the Pope was formed to evict the Turks from Europe. In 1687, a Venetian mercenary army led by a general named Morosini landed near Athens and assaulted the city. The Turks hunkered down on the Acropolis. The Parthenon was converted to a gunpowder arsenal! Morosoni opened a bombardment that lasted more than a week. According to one version, a deserter informed Morosini that the Parthenon contained gunpowder and he targeted it. On the eighth day, a mortar shell landed in the gunpowder causing a massive explosion. Several of the columns on the south side were blown out. The central cella was destroyed. About 3/5ths of the sculptures of the frieze were damaged. The resulting fire gutted the building. Around 300 people were killed. To make matters worse, when the city fell, Morosini tried to have the statues of the west pediment removed, but failed with more damage. Next time you see a picture of the beautiful tourist attraction, imagine what it would look like if not for actions by humans.
https://greece.greekreporter.com/2017/09/26/september-26-1687-when-the-venetians-bombarded-the-parthenon/
THE AMAZONS HOOK UP WITH THE SCYTHIANS
Herodotus told this story and as with many of his tales, take it with a grain of salt. Once upon a time, the Greeks defeated the Amazons in a battle. They captured a number of Amazon warriors and shipped them home in three ships. On the voyage, the Amazons rose up and killed their captors. Unfortunately, the women had no sailing ability and the ships drifted on the Mediterranean until coming ashore in an unknown territory. The Amazons quickly stole some horses and began raiding the local Scythians. The Scythians assumed these bandits were men until they killed a few and discovered they were women. Remarkable women. And what great babies they could produce. So the Scythian elders called on young volunteers to go and impregnate the Amazons. They were told to camp near the Amazons but not provoke them. In fact, they were ordered to avoid battle. Since the Scythian camp was not threatening them, the Amazons decided to coexist with these men. Gradually the camps moved closer to each other. One day a Scythian male approached an Amazon woman who had gone off to use the bathroom. She was open to his approach and urged him to return the next day with a friend, as would she. Soon the two camps were pairing off. After a while, the Scythians agreed to marry the Amazons and they moved away to create their own kingdom.
THE DEATH OF AESCHYLUS
Aeschylus was the Father of Athenian Tragedy. His plays revolutionized drama. His death was not worthy of his fame and importance. According to traditional accounts, he was strolling when an eagle that had captured a tortoise mistook he bald head for a rock and dropped in on it.
- Little, Brown p. 8
ARCHIMEDES
Archimedes was the greatest scientist of the Hellenistic Age. He lived in the city of Syracuse. One day the King of Syracuse received some gold and wanted the royal jeweler to make him a crown decorated with jewels. When he was presented with the crown, along with it came the rumor that the jeweler had pocketed some of the gold. Had he substituted a baser metal under the shimmering gold exterior? The king had to know. He summoned Archimedes to his throne and gave him the task to determine if the crown was pure gold, but the catch was that Archimedes could do nothing to damage the crown. He couldn’t simply scratch away the surface to see if underneath was something like lead. This was a puzzle that Archimedes pondered for hours with no food or water. Finally, his servant convinced him to take a nice warm bath. When Archimedes lowered himself into the tub, the water overflowed onto the floor. At that point, the naked scientist leaped out of the tub and ran to the palace yelling “Eureka!” He proceeded to tell the king to have a new crown made with exactly the same amount of gold and to make sure the jeweler was observed throughout the process. Then the two crowns were placed in vats of water. If they were identical in metal, they would displace the same volume of water. They didn’t and the jeweler was executed as the thief that he was. Archimedes had discovered the Archimedean Principle which states that objects of similar size will displace a different amount of water based on their composition.
- Little, Brown p. 19
ARISTIDES THE JUST
Aristides was a popular politician in ancient Athens. He was so respected that he was called “Aristides the Just”. Athens had a policy called “ostracism” where the Assembly could vote to exile any politician who was considered a danger to the democracy or who had proposed an unpopular (or failed) policy. If you received a majority of the votes, you were banished for ten years. One year, in the 480’s, Aristides’ rival Themistocles proposed that Aristides be ostracized. At the Assembly meeting, all the male citizens were allowed to write the name of someone on a pottery fragment (an ostrakon). Aristides was attending his own potential ostracism when an illiterate Athenian, not recognizing him, approached him and asked that he write Aristides on his ostrakon. When Aristides asked why he was voting for Aristides, the man said “I’m sick and tired of hearing him called ‘The Just'”. Aristides did not say a word as he wrote his own name on the fragment.
- Little, Brown p. 20
THE LUNAR ECLIPSE THAT LOST A WAR
In 415 B.C., the Peloponnesian War had been going off and on for 16 years. Neither Athens nor Sparta was winning. Athens decided to overturn the playing board by sending a fleet and army to attack the Spartan ally of Syracuse on the island of Sicily. The Sicilian Expedition was to be led by the dynamic Alcibiades but after leaving, he found out that he was going to be arrested and put on trial for desecration of statues in Athens. (Supposedly he and his posse had drunkenly knocked the penises off of Hermes’ statues outside homes. It was probably a frame job.) He escaped to… wait for it – Sparta. What happened there is another story. His departure left the command to stick-in-the-mud Nicias. He had 100 ships and 5,000 hoplites. The assault on Syracuse came close to success, but the Athenians were forced to settle for a siege. This did not go well and then the Athenians made the mistake of feeding failure by sending 73 more triremes with 5,000 more precious soldiers. Unfortunately, the Spartans had also sent reinforcements under a competent general named Gylippus. Things continued to go downhill for the Athenians, partly because their camp was near a malarial marsh. They got progressively weaker and when their fleet was defeated in the harbor, it was time to cut their losses and go home. Preparations were made to sneak away, but a lunar eclipse occurred. Nicias, who was a superstitious kind of guy, consulted the priests, who told him what he wanted to hear. It would be bad luck to take any action for 27 days. Within those 27 days, the Syracusans defeated what was left of the fleet and blocked the harbor. Nicias and the army fled westward (leaving the wounded and ill behind), but it was a death march and only 7,000 of the 40,000 men survived. The survivors envied the dead as they were put to work in the infamous stone quarries. The Sicilian Expedition was a disaster that Athens never fully recovered from. It went on to lose the war. All because a superstitious general allowed an act of nature to effect his decision-making.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sicilian_Expedition
ZOPYRUS
Here is a story from Herodotus. In the 6th Century B.C., the city of Babylon rebelled against Persian rule. When Darius I approached the city to restore control, the city gates were closed to him and he had to begin a siege of the city. The Babylonians were confident the massive walls of the city would never fall and they would stand on the top of the walls and taunt the Persians. “Why are you Persians sitting there? You are wasting your time. You’ll capture our city when mules have foals.” That insult was equivalent to saying “when pigs fly” since mules never gave birth. Several frustrating months passed by and every plan by Darius failed. One day a nobleman in his army named Zopyrus had a mule who had a foal. Assuming this to be a sign from the gods, Zopyrus hatched a plan to take the city. He proceeded to cut off his nose and ears and have a servant whip him until he was in terrible shape. He then went to see Darius. The Emperor was shocked at the appearance of his friend and demanded to know who had done this to him. He was shocked when Zopyrus revealed he had done it to himself! Zopyrus asked Darius to trust him because he had a plan. He asked Darius to send 1,000 men to assault the north gate of the city ten days from then, but be prepared to lose all 1,000. Then send 2,000 men to attack the east gate a week later, but again accept the loss of all. And another week later, do the same to the south gate with 4,000 men. One week later, assault the west gate with the whole army and the gate would be open and he could surprise the city. Darius was skeptical, but agreed to the scheme because he had nothing to lose (other than 7,000 men). Zopyrus proceeded to run to the city as though pursued. The guards took one look at him and accepted his tale that he was a deserter. When he identified himself, he was taken to the leaders of the city. He told a story of being unjustly tortured by Darius and his desire for revenge by helping the Babylonians. Knowing his reputation as a leader of warriors, the Babylonians gave him a small unit to command. One week later, he laid an ambush for the 1,000 Persians and wiped them out. The Babylonians were impressed and gave him more men to command. One week later, he laid an ambush for the 2,000 with similar results. And then he destroyed the 4,000-man attack. With this latest success, he was promoted to overall commander of the city and given the keys to all the gates. When Darius made his full-scale assault on the west gate, Zopyrus was there to open the gate and let his army in. The city was sacked and Darius gratefully rewarded the man who was most responsible for his victory.
– The Oxford Book of Military Anecdotes by Max Hastings pp. 13-17
THE FIRST PREDICTED ECLIPSE
The first event in history that we can date for certain was a battle between the Lydians and the Medes. In the middle of the battle, a solar eclipse occurred and shocked the soldiers into stopping. A peace was worked out because the gods were apparently angry. We know this event occurred on May 25, 585 B.C. According to Herodotus in his “Histories”, the eclipse was predicted by Thales of Miletus. Thales was one of the Seven Sages of Greece (although he actually lived in Ionia, which is today Turkey). He was a philosopher, scientist, mathematician, and astronomer. He is considered to be the first philosopher and the Father of Science. He proposed that events involving nature were not caused by the gods. He was the first to use deductive reasoning. Perhaps that is how he predicted the eclipse. The prediction has been questioned. Thales believed the Earth was flat (back when that was excusable) and did not know that an eclipse was when the Moon went between the Earth and the Sun. It has been suggested that he used the record of previous eclipses to predict this one. They do occur in cycles. However, one must have to consider that Herodotus had a tendency to print legends as facts. I prefer to believe that one of the greatest minds in history somehow was able to predict an eclipse.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eclipse_of_Thales
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/thales-predicts-eclipse-mystery-ancient-greece
https://historydaily.org/the-power-of-an-eclipse-the-story-of-the-eclipse-of-thales
THE PARTHENON EXPLOSION
One of the worst days in the history of art was Sept. 26, 1687. That’s the day the greatest temple of the ancient world was blown up. The Parthenon was located on the Acropolis (the hill) in Athens. It was a temple of Athena, the patron goddess of Athens. The building was a gift to her for her aid in the Persian Wars. It had a huge statue of Athena inside it. It was finished in 438 B.C. Over the years it was used for various things. From the 5th Century, it was a Christian church and later it became a mosque in the 15th Century. Unfortunately, it was not always a purely holy site. During the Morean War (1684-1699) between Venice and the Ottoman Empire, the building was used for military purposes. Venice was attempting to take Athens from the Turks. The Turks fortified the Acropolis for a last-ditch stand. They converted the Erectheum (another temple) into a harem and the Parthenon became a gunpowder depot and a shelter for Turkish families. The Turk leader disregarded the fact that the Propylaea (the stairway leading to the top of the hill) had been destroyed by a gunpowder explosion in 1656. During the siege of the Acropolis, Venetian commander Francesco Morosini had his mortars target the Parthenon. One of the rounds hit the building, causing a massive explosion. 300 Turks were killed. The roof collapsed, many of the columns were damaged or destroyed, the frieze was also damaged. Much of the architrave, triglyphs, and metopes were ruined. The building was left in disrepair for centuries. From 1801-1803, Lord Elgin of England had most of the statues in the pediment removed and transported to his homeland. They are now in the British Museum. It was not until 1975 that the Greek government began restoring the temple.
https://www.historytoday.com/archive/months-past/parthenon-blown
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parthenon